She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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