So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
