I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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