we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
