all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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