Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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