its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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