is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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