Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
