Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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