yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
