I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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