im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize