why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
