I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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