Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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