you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
