i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
