What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My pussy is not your playground.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
