We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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