Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
