He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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