fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
