the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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