I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize