I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
