He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize