I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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