drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
