Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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