i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
