Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Randomize
