Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
