well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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