My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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