so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
