i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
