he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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