she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
