Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
