Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
