What a fucking waste of an outfit
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
