He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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