It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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