I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
