I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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