Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He shit in the fireplace
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