So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
