Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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