I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
