covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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