They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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