oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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