Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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